In disbelief

The other night I dreamed about my ex boyfriend, Sidney. It was a very vivid dream where he was saying goodbye to me and that he would never see me again. I kept trying to talk him out of it, but he insisted. I woke up thinking about him all day.
Sidney and I dated when I was in high school and first year of College. I broke up with him and broke his heart. It was on again/ off again for a while until we decided we should just be friends. We worked out great as friends. Soon he met a girl and they moved in together. I was happy for him. He continued to come visit me and was visibly upset when he found out I was pregnant by someone else. He continued to be my friend though. Soon he called and told me he "had finally done it". His girlfriend was pregnant. His son was born 2 yrs after mine. I gave him some of Austin's hand me downs, and loaned him the cradle. Soon I found out he was keeping our friendship a secret from his girlfriend. I had a boyfriend who knew all about Sidney and didn't mind. I told Sidney he should tell her, keeping it a secret was showing that he had something to hide! Soon she found out and of course was upset. I talked to her and told her the truth. We were just friends and I was happy for them. I felt bad. Sidney and I slowly drifted apart. Last I heard he opened a bar.
Well after that dream I decided to Google Sidney. Sometimes things come up sometimes they don't. The first thing I found read "33 years old is too young to die". Well that couldn't be, my Sidney would be 35 now. Then it said he owned a bar. Then it said his wifes name. I was in shock! Suddenly it was as if I still knew him well and all the times we spent together came back to me. The article talked about what a special person he was, how he helped so many punk bands to network and make something of themselves. Everyone loved him and was in disbelief. Sidney had a heart attack. He left behind his wife and 3 kids. I feel for her. Her youngest is the same age as Ileigh.
Now I know why I had that dream. Sidney was trying to tell me something. That he would never see me again, in my lifetime anyways. He was telling me goodbye. In person.